Woolworths – the real inside story.

I don’t feel comfortable shopping at Woolworths or Woollies as we have affectionately nicknamed this retail chain.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d never eat if it weren’t for their TV dinners and my basic Woolies Tees have stood the test of time but there’s something about that store that sneers, “Come back in 5 years time, when you own some gold jewellery and a leather briefcase.”

For years, Woolies (now I’m doing it) have branded themselves as the timeless leader in quality and wholesome living. Heck, they invented the sell-by-date! But I’m assuming some recent market research revealed that in order to maintain their empire like status, they must start tapping the younger generations. Hence, they’ve enlisted a host of ‘hip’ South Africans to inject a modern spirit of individuality into the chain’s brand. Chefs, designers, sports stars and even Miss South Africa now wave the proverbial Woolies flag in giant posters throughout the store.

Typical stereotyping. How to make a stuffy, ‘white’, upper-class store instantly cool? Hire some trendy young black designers to endorse it.
*sigh*

Speaking of stuffy, people often feel they have to justify shopping at Woolworths. You’ll often hear woman saying things like, “but their fruit and veg lasts for weeks, it’s really worth the extra.” Damn straight it is! Those peppers are resilient mothers, what the hell are they growing those things with?

But veg with freakishly long life spans isn’t the only thing that people feel guilty shopping for at Woolies. See the Woolies marketers are a shrewd bunch. In order to get to the tills to pay for your peppers, you have to queue in this aisle of Glucose Temptation. It’s a narrow pathway lined with shelves of sugar-laden goodies.

Resistance is futile.

I think most people feel guilty about popping sour dinosaurs and Spiderman chocolates into their baskets. I’ve often watched a fellow member of the queue pick up a goody and pretend to seriously inspect the ingredients listed on the wrapper. Often they’ll put the goody back, pick up another and repeat the inspection routine before carefully placing it in their basket. It’s as if they’re hoping their actions will say, “I’m entitled to this goody based on a calculated decision. This is not a random, impulse purchase. I can have these sour dinosaurs because as you can see I have a weeks supply of veg in my basket.”

Then you get folk who don’t give a hoot as they toss a supersized bag of Chuckles in their basket. As for my tactic, I whisper to my husband what I want, make him acquire the said goods and pretend not to see - shameful, I know!

Well, I’m off to grab dinner, happy shopping!